In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
