It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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