just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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