You're completely useless in the revolution.
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Pants are for mortals
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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