you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize