Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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