were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize