Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
