haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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