I am puke
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
