how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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