I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
