The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
