i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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