We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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