He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
