just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
