i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
