and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
