I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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