My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
either way he was missing a nipple.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
