sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
