just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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