What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
