Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
