Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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