He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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