Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
