hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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