wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
This house was built for laser tag.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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