When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Holy shit dude........stairs
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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