I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize