ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
a search helicopter?!
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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