i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
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