I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
