did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
That accounts for only three of the penises
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
