What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
