i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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