I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
