I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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