I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
my liver is dry heaving
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
