how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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