All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
