he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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