people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
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