So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think i peed on brittanys purse
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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