I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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