Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Couch. On fire.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
