I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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