Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize