My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Michael Bay diarrhea
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
this hospital has no fireball
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
