I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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