this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
