Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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