she smelled like a LAN party
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
