I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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