The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
