this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Sext me about skeletons
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
