Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
