It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Someone shattered a urinal.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Randomize
