i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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