I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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