I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I didn't notice because vodka
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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