Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
