he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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