Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
