He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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