But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's blow job season.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
