Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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