I should be sponsored by Trojan
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
