Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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