Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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