I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Randomize
